The First Coming Demonstration
A Conversation with Diana*
Millie: The first coming show was three hours long and took place in March of 1976. How did it come about?
Diana: Vic and Suzie had been investigating how people come for some time. Vic had an idea that showing people what it was like to have an orgasm would have them come better. At the time I was 22, and we were all taking a course where the homework was that we had to come every day. It was also a time when Vic and I were making out a lot. It was an intense time for me, learning from Vic about coming and sex and its pleasures.
I think that he had been planning to do a demonstration of orgasm and that he saw the potential of where I was going sexually. He decided that I would be a good demonstrator because there was a particular night when I had a flash. He was doing Suzie, and I have this specific memory of realizing that she was coming as soon as she got touched. She wasn't waiting for that big buildup before she got off. She would just get off right away, and I thought, "Oh my God, I can do that!"
I remembered then about a time during my childhood when I had been having sensual experiences. I had actually repressed these memories until then. I thought, "When I was a kid touching myself, I didn't wait for an orgasm. I didn't know what an orgasm was! I would just like it." It felt really good and just felt good the whole time, and that would be that. It wasn't anything like waiting or having it get better; it was every stroke. Maybe I didn't have an actual "wow" built-up climax at the end. Maybe that didn't happen, but it didn't matter because I wasn't looking for it.
So I realized that it really is that if you think that you're coming now and you have it be that this is it and just lay back and relax, then all of a sudden it just gets better. I'd been so tensed up waiting for it, thinking "Where is this thing that's supposed to be the getting to the orgasm part?" that it didn't happen. That was the flash: "This is it!" And it just gets better and better, and you just keep coming. Then there are all different kinds of levels that you get to where it just gets better and better and better. So that was the way it happened. But we had a lot of dates before I got to that.
When we had first started having dates, I wasn't coming, I wasn't getting off. I remember we had an all night date one time, and, when we came back, Vic said to Suzie, "Well, she didn't get off." There'd be dates where for the whole night Vic would be doing me for a little while and I'd be going, "Oh yes, that's really good. That's really good. Oh, yes this is it. I'm really going to come now. I'm really going to get off." Then he'd stop and say, "You have to go to the bathroom." Or, "Here have a drink of water." Or, "What are you thinking about?" He would interrupt me. He did that over and over and over until I finally realized I better not be waiting around for something to happen. I had better be really enjoying this right this minute because he could stop at any moment. It got me into the frame of really enjoying what I was getting now and not waiting around and being lazy. Did you ever hear him say, "You're a lazy comer"?
Millie: No. What does that mean?
Diana: It's being like, "Oh, well, ho hum" and not feeling everything and going off in your head and thinking about other things. You don't have time for that when somebody is doing you. You should be thinking about those strokes! You should be appreciating this, rather than thinking about, "Oh is he having a good time?" Those things don't matter when you're really feeling good. It doesn't matter whether they're having fun or not, you are just really enjoying yourself. You are glad they're there! I used to be really worried about that. I was always worried that they weren't having fun, and that was part of the laziness of not appreciating what I had. There were all kinds of reasons to not appreciate that I was getting rubbed on, so he pointed those out to me; and he slowly, one by one, got rid of those resistances that I had to feeling what was going on NOW.
So we kind of got into a pattern when he'd start doing me: I would get off right away, and we'd have levels of that. I think that Vic had originally planned on doing the first demonstration of coming like that with Suzie because she was a very good demonstrator. But their relationship just wasn't at that place at the time. Meanwhile, I was in love with him. I wanted to be with him all the time and do things with him. I was having a lot of fun. I had no idea that he was thinking of doing a show, although he did parade our friends through the room to watch me or Suzie get done. He wanted to see the effect it had on people to see us come like that, and he'd show it to our friends and tell them what was going on. Sometimes he would then do one of the women after they watched me or Suzie and see if they got it.
Millie: So you're demonstrating, and people are getting and not getting it as they are walking through. At some point did he say to you, "OK, now we're going to do this"?
Diana: Yes! He had this idea that we would do a show and that we'd invite people to come and watch the show. And I was like, "WOW, this is great!" I was happy about that. Thrilled! I really felt special that this was going to happen. He had it be on a gynecological table to make it clear this was educational as well as fun. I wore a dress which he pulled up because I was self-conscious about my breasts.
Millie: At that point, was it just a straight demonstration? There wasn't a lecture portion beforehand like there is now in the Fundamentals of Sensuality course?
Diana: No, there wasn't a course written up or anything like that yet. It was just him showing the coming, having me come. It was for three hours.
It was at the Sonoma Morehouse in a huge room, a big hall, and it was packed. He did me, and the whole time he talked and demonstrated what he was doing. Sometimes he would have me recite nursery rhymes. If I got distracted because I was coming really well, I'd stop reciting the nursery rhyme, so he'd stop, and I'd be like "Oh… yeah!" and start reciting again. It was really funny, the way I would fade off and just get into my coming. Then he would do something to get my attention, and all of sudden I'd start to recite the nursery rhyme again.
People really got the idea that you can talk while you're coming and that your memory is good and that you don't lose consciousness of what you're doing. You can add and subtract, and do things with your mind. It was three hours long, and he had me take breaks. It's a long time to just lie there and get off. We had cigarette breaks. He told people that he was going to have Brian bring me down in the limousine on the way home, and he actually told them at what point I would be done, at what point on the ride home I would stop needing to come down any more and I'd be done. So Brian did me for a while, and when I sat up in the limousine, there was the sign of the place where Vic said I would be done.
That's how well Vic really knew me and women, and how much we were up to having. He would do me a certain amount, and he would back off. He was just really good at that. He told the audience what he was doing, and they really got it. When that demonstration was over, people RAN to every available space on the property so that they could get off too, get the women off! It was really the women. I'm sure there was some great sex had that night. But all the women in that room got it. So it was really an effective tool, and he saw that.
Millie: In that demonstration did people come up and put their hand on your thigh?
Diana: Maybe. I don't remember. I bet they did because that's what he had me do with Suzie, and he always made such a big deal about it. I didn't have to touch her. I was in the room and saw it. I don't know if I had my hand on her when I actually flashed or not, but it's a very good way of feeling if you can't tell just by watching. I mean you can just tell by being there, looking at the person; the feeling just jumps into you. The turn on spreads.
Millie: That experience, was that your Certification? Or was it the write up of it?
Diana: No, that was my Certification. After that he decided to have it be that he was going to Certify people and wrote a course to teach people how to do it.
Millie: When you're on the table and you're getting off, did you, before the start of that Sonoma show, have any question about whether you were going to be able to pull this off?
Diana: Absolutely not! I wasn't even slightly nervous. I never am before a show. I just don't doubt that part. I just don't. Sometimes, when I'm on the table, I'll worry is this good enough. I always tell people that I have those doubts too and that, if you do, you should not run with them. You should just go onto the next stroke because those thoughts are not going to get you anywhere. I never even had a moment of doubt with Vic, though I have from time to time with other people. I've got to feel what's going on to have it keep on going, and so I just lie there and have it feel as good as I can in my head. But at that time with Vic, absolutely not, not even a little bit of doubt. He had me, and I knew it and was looking forward to it. I wanted to show that off.
Millie: In what ways, if any, do you think the information has changed about how to do that?
Diana: I don't think there is anything changed. Now we've turned it into more like a club of people who know how to show coming like that. I think, for men and for women, it's true that when you feel "this is it from the first stroke," that it really gets better from there. I think that sometimes people have an experience where they have sex with somebody and they just get off the whole time but don't have the big bang at the end. Sometimes that happens, and at different times it's different. Sometimes it's better than other times, but that's just the sexual experience. It doesn't mean that it wasn't a complete act in itself. You have to say that to people because they think they are supposed to come like men usually come — with a big build up to an ending climax.
The reason I kept thinking I wasn't coming was because I had that idea of what it was supposed to look like, and it didn't look like that. So Vic just wore those viewpoints down, little by little. I had it ingrained in me very heavily, so it took a while. I didn't just get off right away because it was Vic doing me. It was my mind that he had to change. I think that he saw that it was a process and that some people are going to hold onto longer than others. I think that Suzie had to go through the same thing to figure it out, and I think he figured it out with her. He was very good with women; he could feel them. I think that he could feel that they were getting off, but it wasn't like they were admitting it right away. He and Suzie didn't have enough reality between just them. So they wanted to see what it looked like with other people, and with their exploratory process, it came down to bringing somebody else through. People go through all kinds of insanity because they doubt their sexuality.
I think that we have a really good system of talking to people about where they're at with their sex life and of having it get better and better and better. Because once you know that you're the one that makes it be better, you don't doubt that anymore.
*Diana currently is a member of the Sensuality Department and teaches advanced courses such as Fundamentals of Sensuality, Expansion of Sexual Potential, Qualification, and Certification.
Interested in more?
We offer many courses in expanding your sensual life:
Demonstration of a woman in orgasm for an hour:
Fundamentals of Sensuality
The Demonstration was featured in Tim Ferriss' book, The Four-Hour Body