Boris and Sugar: A Pre-Borange Interview
Kiva Linsdey Goldstein
Our community had the great fun of celebrating the relationship of Sugar and Boris. They were Boranged June 2nd and it was a magical party. Sugar was radiant in a dark purple strapless dress and Boris looked great dressed up in chocolate brown and, true to form, his island slippers. We drank margaritas and feasted on Boris' homemade guacamole. What a guy! Throws his woman a great party, publicly declares his love for her and makes the guacamole too! The Borange was a great opportunity for us all to celebrate their love and it really felt good.
Sugar Goens-Baranco and Boris Shekeloff have known each other their entire lives. They both grew up together at Lafayette Morehouse. Sugar, 21, is the daughter of Diana Goens and the late Victor Baranco. Boris, 26, is the son of Kassy and Brian Shekeloff, both Morehouse teachers since the early days of the group.
Neither Sugar nor Boris foresaw this relationship while growing up here. They both agree that the More Philosophy and the research their parents and all their friends have done have contributed to the great relationship they are having. Boris says that it helped growing up around so many happy people. Sugar says that she learned early on that the way to get a guy to fall in love with her was to deliberately and actively look for ways to approve of him. And if she found something she disapproved of, to take a serious look at how she could win with it and profit from it. In the process, she found that approving of him had her fall in love with him too!
I sat down with the happy couple about a week before their Borange to talk about their relationship and what they are looking forward to in the future.
Kiva: How long have you two been together now?
Sugar: (sits forward, lifts her head, and gives one of those warm and mischievous smiles.) Well, we have two anniversaries. One is Cindy's birthday, that is when we first made out and that was very special so we like to celebrate it. That was February 6th, 2006. Then the big room change happened in August 2006 and Boris got the room under mine. But he just stayed in my room every night and finally one day I looked at him and said, "Is this official? Can we call it... are you my boyfriend now?" He just looked at me and said, "Well I'm living here, so I guess I am!" That was exciting because up to that point that was not our status. So, over three years is the answer to your question.
Kiva: How did growing up here and the relationship your parents had with each other affect you and how does it affect your relationship?
Boris: I think about it in the sense that, obviously, if they were not friends we would not be here. The both of us... maybe Sugar... but I definitely would not be here. Not only would I not be here because my Dad met my Mom through Morehouse, but also because Vic convinced my Dad to have a kid with my Mom. So those are two ways that I would not be here if it were not for them being friends in Morehouse. I also think that even if somehow they had met separate from Vic... when I think of those two and me in a house... I would not be anywhere close to who I am. Those two people are intense. I may have been some hermit, or I would have gone insane. So I think about that sometimes. (He says with a deep belly laugh).
Sugar: I think it is romantic, like a storybook romance, or a movie or fairytale that our parents were so connected and that we keep it going. This whole place is built on those ideas that Vic came up with. All that research done by our folks and the rest of the group.
Kiva: What kinds of research do you hope to do in the future?
Boris: Well we are both going to be doing some collegiate research.
(Boris will be starting at Cal-Berkeley this fall and Sugar is planning on finishing up with one more semester at Diablo Valley College and transferring to Cal next year.)
Sugar: I thought of a good answer to the research question. This answer makes me happy. (Sugar throws her arms in the air, doing a happy dance motion) Relating with each other. The dynamic of being together. That is great research. Also, I have been interested in having another woman play really closely with us. Even just looking at that is fun, and if we move in that direction that would be fun research too. I also really want to look at how to be more successful at attracting people to the business. I definitely hope Boris wants to do that with me.
Kiva: Is that something that you see the two of you doing in the future, this business, Lafayette Morehouse — courses, groups and houses?
Sugar: Well, I love that idea. I think that would really be fun. I am also keeping an open mind and exploring other avenues, mostly because I think it is healthy. I just do not want to be so stuck on any one way it is supposed to be that I don't see the good possibilities of going some other direction. I also think that if we were going to do that as a team, I would like Boris to express his interest in it more on his own and not do it just because I ask him. I mean I love asking him for it too, and I love him responding to me, but I also think it would take him just wanting it himself for it to be the kind of thing we go for.
Boris: I see me wanting it for myself because she wants it as the same thing. At least two sides of the same coin. If she wants it, then at the same time, I want it for her and I want it for myself because when I give her stuff it feels good, and I want to give her what she wants.
Sugar: Yay! That was such a good answer. That reminds me of a fun thought I had recently. I can really feel how if I win with something he will win with it. Like if I really feel right enough to have whatever I want, he would go for it.
Kiva: Why get Boranged?
Sugar: Originally, the reason was that I wanted Boris to profess his love for me. I wanted him to acknowledge that in front of everyone. I thought it would make me feel secure. It has turned out to be so much more than that already and it has not even happened yet. Now I feel like it is really about fun, which is cool because that is what it is supposed to be about, fun. Now I am looking forward to professing my love to him as much as I am to hearing him doing it for me. Everything else leading up to it and after it looks like more fun too.
Kiva: What about you? What does this Borange mean to you Bo?
Boris: Well it means I have to stand up in front of everyone and... No, seriously it means what a Borange is... that we are going to celebrate our relationship the way that it is. That is good because I know that she wants some sort of proclamation of love and I am not quite ready for marriage. I don't think that she is either. So this is a good way to have that without all the fuss of a wedding.
Kiva: Sugar, what do you love most about Boris?
Sugar: I love being with him. I like his attention on me. I love his attention to detail. I love his attention on other people, and his sense of humor.
Kiva: How would you describe him in three words?
Sugar: Silly, attentive and direct.
Kiva: Boris, how would you describe Sugar in three words?
Boris: Woman, amazing and wonderful.
Kiva: Boris what would Sugar's idea of a perfect date be?
Boris: We would start with some sort of sensual date and then have a picnic...
Sugar: (cheers and interrupts Boris to say) Oh, yes, oh yes! And then, watch a romantic movie. We should have a date like that soon. (They both fall back onto the couch in a fit of giggles...)
Sugar and Boris's Declarations from the Borange
- My promise is to love and cherish you as long
as it is the most fun thing we can think of to do.
- I've wanted a partner to share life with for as
long as I can remember.
- So, being with you is a dream come true.
- But really, it's better than my sweetest dreams because
you love me in ways I never thought to dream of.
- You challenge me to be nice and have fun.
- You hold me to a higher standard than I hold myself to.
- You make me laugh a lot, and you get my silliest jokes.
- You make me feel safe, cared for, and warm.
- Thinking of you always brings a smile to my face.
- You're my best friend.
- And I love you!
- Thank you for all you do for me.
- My promise is to love and cherish you as long as
it is the most fun thing we can think of to do.
- Having my attention on you is more rewarding than I ever imagined.
- You give me direction and purpose. Your goals are my goals.
- We are first and foremost friends and are in conspiracy to make each
others' lives better.
- Producing for you fulfills me.
- I am grateful for all the love and goodness you bring to my life.
- I am in awe of your niceness, patience and ability to see others.
- I don't love you in spite of anything.
- I love you because of everything you are and do.